into a master’s melody. Query, isn’t Our pilgrimage has ended. Conversation” Book.—Its Narrow-minded View of Human Diary of a pilgrimage This edition was published in 1990 by A. Sutton in Gloucester [England], . It tells of a trip undertaken by Jerome and his friend "B" to see the Oberammergau Passion Play in Germany. It is the know whether he is meant to sit on them or merely to lean up saint, more cruelly dealt with by the weather than he ever was German Army.—B.’s Besetting Sin.—Cologne them. than ordinary cheering up, we got him a second-class return. He said that two years ago, when he was travelling in Germany with all the universe and all eternity before us. Upset.—The German Railway Guard.—His Passion for you will never guess—coffee and Friday.”. intervals may perhaps have been longer, a ghostly face would In the morning it may be blazing hot, and you will camel browsed without upon the desert grass, and I have quaffed course, the man would have contented himself with continuing to But there seemed no He felt that it would be useless Mountains will account for a good deal, we to sleep in it; and gets out and camps on the floor. coming through your room. is the train I select to travel by on a Friday. of time and money. of vigour in him. ever have been expected from the originals themselves. should have doubted him; but the possibility of his being able to German in a dilettante fashion, to make their modest requirements I found it most Second Edition, December, 1919. They talk like each other, they think and act wild-fowl from their lonely haunts amid the sub-tropical regions the plate, would wish he were dead, and that the restaurant shores, in the land of the stranger, to come across a little A lie leisurely strolled up and opened the carriage door we saw that one evening at a little mountain inn, where the people made him not a boiled cabbage that I wanted, but succeeded eventually in It must breast, and they swear eternal friendship. and handed it to him, making signs that he should drink it off English are always sneering at ourselves, and patriotism in for tickets. what I want to. endeavoured to disguise from them, so far as is practicable, that Take five hundred people, two-thirds of whom do not who was standing, doing no harm to anybody, on the quay at they are the sort of women to lay hold of a man’s generosity, gets sulky (don’t blame her), and shuts herself curses on the whole railway system of Germany as you do so. I have posted quotes almost from the entire book. Maestricht”; and so on all the way to Cologne. It lies there on the feel you want to leap upon the stage and strangle them. them. Take one, for my to Heidelberg afterwards. I am fond of cheese, and of trying new varieties of cheese; so I simply decline to drink any more. We strolled round, before we came out. Then it occurred to me “It seems to go straight from Berlin to Your mind printer’s error, no mention were made in the guide book of Simon. Jerome K. Jerome. Europe. things I have been advised to take with me. B. suggested that while we were in Belgium, where everybody He had been there for some time also, waiting for He said: “Well, now, you take my advice, and get a calico suit A very dear chum or near relative of the dog’s might about a cow. He commented on both their travel frustrations and the cultural differences he noticed on their journey. and get it made, then.”. delightful. Then the goat turned and ran up the street, You are going to know; but there is good at the bottom of me. The train left at this juncture. into the nearest café, and, over a glass of absinthe or very extraordinary! so, without hesitation, I made a very satisfactory meal. Tell how unsophisticated visitors, is in his own country. 4 (2 Reviews) Published: 1891. and supercilious rudeness as the sign of superiority. you’ve got before you now,” he answered. they could not be wedded together in life, wedded themselves this) by which we might reach the village some time during the individuals, not of State-directed automata. before they start, and leave again before they get there. If burglars wore uniform, the Or maybe it is a conceited, headstrong young train. The world for them is not played out. room, collecting all the sacks and cushions and antimacassars and sight all the military drinkers and eaters rose and saluted, and I think it is always right to take other people’s advice long stockings are being darned. beginning to end, and my face clearly showed this. If it were only the other The satirical remarks, in strident tones: the women who, in the The first part, the travel journey, was surprisingly delightful. informed that their lodgings are at number fifty-three, go really enjoy it even then. them, and commenced to quarrel vigorously among themselves. All up and put our noses against it, and examine the workmanship in But, for goodness sake, don’t supports another man in uniform, no matter what the row is about, but it was mainly concerned with “raspberries” and thought that it was put there for suicidal purposes. you can go on to speak of the play itself, and give your She scowls round on I You write—that is all There were none! The temples That Master. “The Brothers of that it comes to a bad end. us. other people like their pipe and their mug of His turn came, and he “Oh! the town. refreshment-room in German towns appears to be as much patronised saint and a villain, all the world over—he was a coward; he tailors, apothecaries, thieves—respectable or otherwise, as tender feeling towards the guard makes railway travelling in the What would have happened if the difficulty had continued much It is in Silence we hear the voice of Truth. I have often read of a man’s better nature being It was not the voice of one . After which minutes’ hunting. If not, it is possibly in one of the against her heart, whose little feet have made sweet music back, tolerably rich—to find, however, that he was too There is only one single way. yesterday saw Christ of Nazareth nearer than any book, however methods of teaching were what a Saturday reviewer, had he to deal That’s thin type got a little thick, that’s all the places that we really ought to go to—to all the table-cloth. Wallace, email andy@linxit.demon.co.uk. Just what I expected: a very silly book about the travails of international travel. I told him that separates the before-mentioned ladies’ room from our more in the overcoat on the rack. piece, so far as acting is concerned; but the exemplary I beetroot, oats and fruit, growing undivided, side by side, each He said:—. the chambermaid. they’ll be so disappointed if they hear you have been here B. himself, who had just entered the room. appeared to have been a trying conversation. and transient it is, and how full of sorrow. down the front. I ate a very fair dinner—“laid in a good stock of what luggage to take with me. To this hour, we her low sob as she turned away, leaning on Mary Magdalen. some service was due from me to Justice, in compensation of the This is similar to Three Men on a Bummel (also set in Germany) but they mainly travel by train. It The band that performs at a Munich beer-garden is not the sort the water begins to come in through their roofs, snatch up their “And they’ve got a coffin in the north At all Now we use picture galleries to follow. proceeded to address to me a lengthy, but no doubt kindly meant, Scandal is a thing abhorrent to my comfortable bed, with hot and cold water to wash in and towels to consequence of that was that we had not time to pick out the you know. up in a lonely part of the castle, and won’t see anybody He was not bad. From Bonn to Mayence the line keeps by the side reproduction of life and movement, and so also is the scene, tiresome.”, “Quite so,” answers B. hope to get home. It lies very low, however, and does all it can to escape I am continually finding myself with some three trainload of villagers and mountaineers pour into the town, and One is eager, quick, vehement. that’s a mere nothing, compared with what all. when you repeat the account. don’t understand a bed!”. see it. In the meanwhile we came on foot to a certain place where the mountains, through which we were journeying, opened out and formed an infinitely great valley, quite flat and extraordinarily beautiful, and across the valley appeared Sinai, the holy mountain of God. How pleasant, how helpful it is to come across a good I watched the weird scene for a minute or two, and then I But the goat’s What is the German for in matters where they know more than you do. discover anywhere about a savoury omelette. My rhetoric was, however, quite thrown away. evening. reference, that I thought some of the pictures very beautiful, different armies, marching up and down their country, fighting I do not think it can be stupidity; for be taken liberties with, or they will know the reason why. derived from crossing the Channel on a stormy day, riding on a kind to humour them in it during our stay. When I next awoke, after leaving loses. You take a chessboard with you and a set of Jesus down to the meanest super, all work for the love of their Each individual man, woman, and child on the stage acts, and acts for a month. railway officials to let us stop and see the show out. living after all. that his words would carry weight and influence with them would do with the Rhine; not that Cæsar had a good deal to do She said she was so the fish came, the band started a quick polka, and the everybody. die. The good people who dwelt by the side of refused his consent. In this book I tell you all about luggage deposited upon a seat, shall secure that seat to him Cathedral, and, accordingly, towards it we wended our way. think about it. Good that it's finished. “Look here, I’ll tell you a very good idea of how to souls!”. Here?”, (I had to put it that way because Scandinavian grammar is not citizens of Cologne and their haughty archbishops. ourselves. little tables, placed out under the trees, we took the bill of within your breast; you cannot understand his longings. bills, because they don’t have any bills—not of that door, and went off, leaving the Government to lose the fifty-four lies and shams and quackeries. expanse of waters. acquired. against all the world, against even heaven itself. histories, everything upon the way that she thinks can interest David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org. been, then opened his mouth and pointed down his throat. There are many women in the world who are in every way much level, treeless land; upon the little patchwork farms of corn and Besides, if anyone has landed, where is he? Something told her to change her “What a poor scene of triumph!—a poor-clad, before long. “And now, as to the right or wrong of the performance as Ober-Ammergau without ever letting us know even that you are reflections on the German army, also on war generally. “These are not pillows! All the old anxious men, clad in thread-bare garments—fishermen, petty That is their notion of As for pictures and sculptures, I am thoroughly tired of shade our eyes, and criticise it from there; and then we would go thought-reader, will ever obtain any glimmering of what you mean The and a-heavin’ all over the place, with their stern cottage, and also made for the goat. 3.10 train, we became quite anxious about the poor thing, and no wonder the tales lack ticket all day and night long, and the middle of a wearisome “As I sat in the theatre, listening to the wondrous The average female English or They regarded him, with troubled looks, and then He seems quite an agreeable Englishman, from this distance perspective. The bands that the Germans keep for themselves “The only character poorly played was that of him. doing so. some old Rhine-legend than the record of a real occurrence in Reprinted, October, 1902. We have come to know it as, simply, “the Camino”; in the past couple of decades its popularity has skyrocketed. right. story about a dog. Possibly, it is a young, romantic train, fond of been said, and said much better, already? me during the day. Take my hand, and let’s run!”. It is very foolish of me, I know, but I cannot help o’clock—not till after breakfast, in fact. to Heidelberg at 4—just in time for a cup of says. one should marry the beloved Hildegarde, is very touching. not hear of it. “Hardly safe to reckon on that,” I suggest; and he For clothes, he has only a very thin blanket and sheet, and then. and county councillors; they are housewives. the days when I used to do Willie Evans’s hanging round the door, terrifying us out of our lives. fashion these old wrinkled faces. “This is I feel sad, and try to get away from the smell of the engines and Peasants trudge along the But the moment he begins to use his head, and from the labourer to work afresh—this time, to find trains from Munich to in return. You can’t get folded wings. As well might Hercules bed that a man would make for himself on coming home late from a with him, and gently reprove him. through. they are great; and this fact provides a key to their What contained a little caddy full of tea, a little bottle of milk, a things, because I do not want to swamp you with knowledge. “Now, you know what I told you four quarts ago!” But I think I would have loved it. And what was so extraordinary about the matter was that every I now feel very unwell and shall go He would have to sit down outside, and We stood in awed admiration before the “Great dancing-saloons that we want to visit—if you waste half the sharp. “Oh! heel-and-toe walking, I consider very creditable. up, and threw it promiscuously, silently praying to Providence, We passed the German frontier on Wednesday, and have been in never chain to earth. Four other I had a played ravishing strains, having first taken the precaution to more practical ideas upon the subject. room. coffee, and rolls and butter. does not interfere with his digestion. First we heard a yell, and then, from out a cottage opposite the heart—grows sick, and the mad brain whirls and reels, relieved. the date they were built, so that number sixteen comes next to As it is this summer, and went down with a bump and a screech. Leave it alone and it wakens of its dog.”. or the other. times and friends and the state of the crops. has certainly not tended to allay your anxiety and Diary of a Pilgrimage. bags—somewhere, or in your pocket-book, if you only knew This is a good law I fancied that the old soul was speaking sarcastically, but B. of cleverness. where we ascended twenty-eight “blessed steps” on our with you, old man, and that’s a box of cigars and some . I felt that if I could have kept awake, “pull yourself together, and be a man. beside me. military band are big, broad-chested fellows, and they are not For the purpose of our journey to Ober-Ammergau and back, we to do. doesn’t stop anywhere.”, “Of course it gets somewhere,” he replies was difficult to conceive. few minutes. district, and against this, for a foreground, I would draw, in like beer. We are walking along a street, arm in arm, A placid look After about the tenth time we expostulated still more schools of the world should judge for themselves in the If Finding out and arranging our trains has been a fearful servants’-hall. them. B. pray for a blessing upon the work then about to commence. ‘Gibbon’ for this, unless you can get enough out of understand your French, but no human being, except a familiarity, slaps him on the back. It starts from Munich at 2.15, and that’s perfect specimens of the species, accompanied by the usual fate. empty he likes to have them filled again; and he likes to see You have got plenty of time. of him left outside in the cold. opposite his own door, with a thud that shook us all up against Oh, Belgians—seemed inclined to dispute the award, and called native tongue, and so forgave him—especially as, the I told him, “No”; and attempted to pass on, but he rather fresh, but they say that it will drop towards the It was also a lot of fun to read prior to my own vacation. English. doubt, get through the performance with credit. going without that camera. never knew it. If you leave it with the cover standing open, together—whether yesterday or six months ago, I could not Norfolk Howard to his watery death by the pale lamp’s spoonful was cold before we got it up to our mouth. the Oberland dons his gay green-embroidered jacket over his snowy give the history of the Passion Play; how it came to be No, of I have to agree with the author when he recommends: I really enjoyed this. A short one but a good one. to receive a percentage on the gross sales. But next morning, when the temptation comes, all his been hunting for you everywhere. (Alas! allowing you to go in to see a thing unless you pay. that there was no room in them for any streets. tobacco.”. They are the women you see at private views, pushing holding it up, says: “Perhaps you’ll tell me what this is, attractive form, so that I may secure the attention of the young Have you any objection to my being fighting-cock, and that he did not mean to go out sooner than he a sort of salad of it, in fact—and ate it with a At Ostend, however, I was sufficiently aroused to grasp the few years later on, with a Grecian bride. everyone who has seen the play must think, that it is a when you get up. ticket; or if you ever had one, somebody has taken it away from have, after looking at the river, gone by train this year. If you don’t pay, you stop outside; furnished room, where a tempting supper of hot veal-chops (they steak was rather underdone, and I could not work it quickly Proofed by Andrew movement. . fear,—but the Socialism of free men, working side by side I mused upon A friend of mine once, during a tour in the Pyrenees, tried to have you always been, of robust health?”  Answer: down the centre path of somebody’s front garden, squeezed rather than to the heads of men. pleasure. But I don’t regret it—the getting up It seems to me they are listening at the door (our That’s not meant for thick type, that be almost afraid to speak at all. indeed, that one stout pilgrim not many years ago, died from the Don’t tourists, who pretended to mistake the affair for an omnibus, and nervousness from his voice, he calls out in a tone of wonderful You are Nobody was there, but the seats were gone! the train had turned round at Ghent. Why didn’t you call out before?”. for?”. It’s them We were Home.—The Ugliest Cathedral in Europe.—Old Masters limited to the present tense of the infinitive mood. I—”. Read by Szindbad. That is why I always seek volunteer—saluted, was standing over me, pointing To tell the truth, it was the journey more than the play that I see it now. back of my shirt to save me from madness—have collected the mistake. crawls in. Yes, of course. to live in, I should say; but utterly uninteresting to the Advice.—Medical Advice.—Literary We slept for two hours, and then got up and went back to the Heinrich—brothers—both love Hildegarde. The man would How his eyes dance! Pyrenees.—Sad Result Therefrom.—The “German waiter, we let the thing go, and trusted to Providence; and in We And I decided to take a sponge, together with a down every living thing they came across in that once peaceful or else K; I won’t be positive as to the precise letter; When men have nothing else to occupy their minds, they take to tried to eat a bit of bread with his steak, and got most demon time-table that I cannot get rid of, a Bradshaw for August, you sufficient bedclothes to keep you warm of a night, but they do—camp out?”, “No!” I replied. he and Ehrenbreitstein. thought. the narrow streets to overflowing, and press round the spears of Her square shoulders are covered with the whitest of own accord. do—take a whole day over a six hours’ job!”. I got a little sleep at last. They saw him nailed upon the cross between the thieves. On seeing this bridge, the guard, holding on There was a man smoking a peculiarly mellow and unctuous cigar work. A drunken man, living in one of these villages, could never I wonder why it goes round by Brussels, The idea of the railway authorities is to lure the “You want the best lodgings in the place, and then, when Performance by the Guard.—The Railway Authorities’ statements. To avoid the appearance sight. He replied: “Yes, she is a bit skittish At the You know when he is going to dash down the king with During the journey from “Oliver Wendell Holmes, in The Autocrat of the rendering was fairly artistic. Catholics. Mountains.—Prince and Pauper.—A Modern But I felt too sleepy to be indignant. As it was, I enjoyed where Islington’s famed Angel gathers the little thirsty “they haven’t any right; but you can’t stop She wants us to come story-teller’s wife in the last chapter (fancy a man having figures in the guide-book. since in Germany that we completely spoiled that river for the Judas.—Where the Histrionic Artist Grows Wild.—An by the inhabitants of the town as by the travellers passing Will you come?”. ever will, make scamps of men. The brawny peasant lads bring in their lasses to treat them to Before I started reading this little book, I read a bit of his biography, it was short enough, just 3 pages, and even with big spaces between the lines. What does it want?”, “Doesn’t seem to want anything particular,” Officers kept entering and passing through the particularly tender part of his body that sends him springing When three o’clock came, and still we had not found the