I just found out today that I'll be commissioning in May as an active duty 2LT. Most I’ve met don’t really care and just do their own thing but just stuff to be aware of. We broke up for other reasons (grew apart) but what happened after we broke up? Military Male Spouse Myths, Tips and Tricks. I don't know my branch or first posting yet. I don't think it's news to any of us that women are treated a bit differently than our male counterparts. I was curious to hear what life is like for men who are married to female military members? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. How common is it for women in the army to be married to civilian men? The military is just a job where you move around a lot. He says traditional supports system don’t seem to be working. I was curious to hear what life is like for men who are married to female military members? I read a lot about "Milspos" on reddit and it seems to only ever refer to female spouses of male military members. Etc etc. You may find yourself explaining to people over and over again that you’re a civilian and your spouse is a service member. Not every military spouse finds herself or himself in the same situation. It doesn’t mean you served your country, it doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone. Our … Good luck. Does it last? In 5 years of her being in I have only been on base 1 time and that was right after we got married to get my ID. How you met your spouse, how long you have … She used to show me off a little to flex my chest candy on her cadet friends but I still had to figure what was going on when I wasn't there: A lot of low-key flirting, or worse. Obviously not first hand experience, just what I’ve seen. It just means you put up with some serious bullshit sometimes like anyone else. In my unit, they usually get kinda “adopted” by the dudes in the unit but it’s still just kinda different. Believe it or not there is a fairly large population of male military spouses, or MANspouses as I like to refer to "US" as. Idk based on what people who served tell me my guess is either way your wife is thousands of miles away banging other dudes. I read a lot about "Milspos" on reddit and it seems to only ever refer to female spouses of male military members. AskAnAmerican: Learn about America, straight from the mouths of Americans. r/USMilitarySO: Supporting ALL Military Relationships. This subreddit is for sharing advice, support and information for the significant others of … One even told me her husband was outright shamed by a dude for “letting his wife fight instead of him”. by Military Spouse Team. We need a pyramid scheme dedicated to our needs. Posted on December 14, 2011 by The Real Cougar Woman. Last Fall, I was honored to meet a male military spouse at Military One Click’s MilSpouse Fest. There’s some memes for sure and my whole life I’ve heard stories of stuff like “Major’s wife wants us to salute her at the gate” but it likely doesn’t happen as often as you read about here on reddit. A lot of places have the spouse preference program or whatever it's called. 14. For starters, if you’re a female, it means getting used to being called “ma’am,” even when you’re in your early 20’s. My folks met in the military but my mother “retired” after my brother was born... she started an at home daycare because military pay is damn near tickling the poverty line but otherwise was normal.. was very stressful when my father went to Desert Storm in the early 90s. 1-Tell us about you! Maybe it depends on the branch, because every single Marine spouse I've ever met in person, literally every single one (with one sole exception), were absolutely awful people in every conceivable sense. You only get looks cause you're doing it naked. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I think there should be a Manpendent type of group at every base and duty station,” he shared. Where a civilian man marries a military wife, they mostly have their own life outside of their wife's and their own careers, goals, personalities, and whatever. Macho Spouse Founder, Chris Pape, speaks at the 2013 Military.com Spouse Summit about being a civilian male military spouse. Military Spouse Appreciation. Also, do they have a particular image among the general public? Civilian male spouses may not feel the different "Mommy and Me-type" groups are all inclusive but group leaders say all are welcome. Read it and see if you agree. We have been dating for several years and we plan to get married. Why would he need to work? best. Most military families are normal, it’s usually just deployments that causes huge strains and attitudes and such. My husband is mil as well but I’ve met very few women who are married to civilians, or if they are it’s usually a veteran. By Ms. Kaytrina Curtis (IMCOM) May 10, 2013 Share on Twitter Survey data were used to examine the demographic information of male spouses of Active Duty Service members on a variety of satisfaction measures (e.g., life, marital, health). Soldiers Reveal Worst "Military Wife" Stories (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories) Has anything insane happened to you? They simply want groups or clubs to be more inclusive and not so female-focused. Mom Isn’t Here to Create Halloween Costumes and Dad is Scared! As some mentioned, they pretty much all had lives, careers, and identities outside that of their spouse. Military folks do marry awfully young. According to the research, male military members are much more likely to have married at a younger age than the civilian population. He seems to be fine with it. We could see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I also saw how military girls are. We're in Germany right now so it's difficult to find a good job so I work for AAFES right now which is a pretty shitty gig but it's extra money. She is a nurse so her hours are similar to any other nursing job. . I make a lot more money than she does so the trope of unemployed military spouse doesn't apply to me although her coworkers do tend to assume that when I first meet them if they aren't told otherwise. A local military spouse has conceived the perfect way to do just that. Host Dave Etter moderates this open forum 120 minute weekly call-in web-radio show for Male Military Spouses, and anything goes! In general, the few that I knew that weren't prior-service were all pretty cool guys, and all had a career where they were doing some very awesome shit (One guy I met was in the Forest Service and worked part-time for the Smokejumpers/Wilderness Firefighters), or they were being paid some pretty huge bucks (Defense contractor husbands.) I have been following along for daily inspiration and motivation from James for quite sometime and I know he will have some valuable information to share with the military spouse community in his interview below. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The challenge is much more complex and nuanced. I'm enlisted and my ex is an officer now but when she was a cadet it was tough even with me being in. Close. I'm excited to have received the component that I want, but I'm also a little daunted by the challenges of military life, especially with regards to my boyfriend. Call in line: (516) 453-9167. One of my best friends is. Anything else we need to add to the list? There's a recent post in r/twoxchromosomes talking about her husband's wierd experiences as a military spouse, basically, it being constantly assumed he's the service member, or that, if his wife is military, he must also be a veteran. Macho Spouse offers male military spouses videos and resources on career networking, relationship guidance, family support, and entrepreneurial guidance. Macho Spouse is an educational video series and online resource for male military spouses and their families. He notes that male spouses are often overlooked by mainstream military spouse groups and has dedicated his time to celebrating the his role as a milspouse. Redditors share their worst Army Spouse stories. You may feel isolated. It was weird. Civilian military husbands are slightly less common … Male spouses make sure to show their pride for their spouses whether it’s wearing a special shirt. Brooke Jones-Chinetti entered the career force of the military as a service member after graduating from West Point Military Academy. 100% Upvoted. I would suggest making sure he stays productive and maintains a network of civilian friends. Hopefully he is very secure and you guys communicate openly, honestly and immediately with each other. This is an open forum to generate subject matter and ideas for the weekly web-radio show of the same name. report. What kind of resources are available for spouses with regards to employment and post graduate education? I'm sure there's probably way less of a stereotype of the 'terrible Military spouse' with the guys than there is with the women. From my research online it seems like a decently small demographic, going to basic next year my husband will be going with me to my tech school and base, obviously I suppose. He's going to have the toughest job in the Army. Or is it the uniform? If I had to guess, there are probably some husbands out there like this, but given that the percentage of females in the military averages to something like 17%, they're statistically going to be a lot less common. Prior to my wife's enlistment in the Army, I was a real man's man. I'm guessing this is the biggest difference. Press J to jump to the feed. Due to the voice of male military spouses being one that is rarely heard, I humbly asked if he would be willing to allow me to interview him for the blog and share his story. Macho Spouse is Helping male military spouses successfully navigate current military life issues through the use of video, online networking and communication. He could also look on USAJOB to see what's available in your area or if you get stationed in the states work a normal job. Most military spouses, particularly husbands, are just people. I work a lot more than she does and I have to travel some for work so it is my job that keeps us apart more than hers. Of the 6 pages I’m on, only one allows male spouses and that was a recent change. by Military Spouse Team. They asked an honest question. Civilian males married to service members exist, but are a minority. Uh when they're deployed I really wouldn't call it normal. Male Civilian Spouse Do you guys have any experience with your spouses being on base who are civilian, no prior military? 1-Tell us about you! Well he was in the military too when younger but got out way before he married someone in it. Plenty of wives work, but not that many husbands stay home. 5 Portable Careers for Civilian Male Military Spouses Male Military Spouse, Taurus James, shares 5+ Portable Careers for Civilian Male Military Spouses The spouse Facebook pages sometimes specifically exclude men, even if they’re spouses. Gender assumptions play a large role in the experience of male military spouses and should be considered when designing military family programs. Your man may not tell you he is feeling insecure about this, but I bet he'll be feeling it at least a little. Don't be like that. Being a Male depends would be awesome! I just found out today that I'll be commissioning in May as an active duty 2LT. So the guys heavily understood what they were getting into (or they were already there). Lucky son of a bitch. Is it that in military life, there is just has an unconscious prejudice for females so much so that our male counterparts are more effective in settling certain matters? It's a stereotype for a reason. Not sure how much truth is in that but it's kinda funny and depressing at the same time. Posted by u/[deleted] 2 years ago. Being a mil spouse is already kinda isolating, it’s probably even worse when all your potential commiserators are married women. Military Spouse Highlight: David Carrera . Most spouse things are marketed towards women. 79 episodes, 2 ratings & reviews. Therefore, it can be challenging for men to find connections in military circles. 0 comments . The Unsung Hero - the male military spouse. You’ll move around and make a lot of new friends and new people. My wife is in the army and I'm not. It is written by Thomas Litchford who is a navy spouse. Here are some myths debunked to help the men out there adjust to life as a spouse. In my experience, most male military spouses were prior-service themselves, some even still serving in the Guard/Reserve. #armyspouse, #dependa, #askreddit He politely agreed and I’m so ecstatic to share this interview with you below. It's the same as being a girl on a police department or other work place with a lot of "alpha" or wanna be alpha males. What's the male version of lularoe and scentsy. By Thomas Litchford I read this article on the MilSpouse website and wanted to share it with you. Honestly, I cant imagine being a dude and having much interests in any of the stuff I've seen the wives getting up to. Your peers and support group are women. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Male Military Spouses Are Struggling. It's almost like someone isn't defined by their spouse. … Military wives (like all wives) seem a lot more likely to be stay-at-home than husbands do. He'll get weird looks, if I run out the trash during the duty day it feels like everyone's staring at me. Any advice that y'all have is greatly appreciated ☺️. Dear Mindy, I am not sure what to do. Let us explore it and have fun! He has a job. Like I started, be open, honest and immediate with him and expect him to be the same with you. Sort by. This is particularly true if you move to a new location where you don’t have family or friends. Depending on the size of a command there may only be one or two male spouses in total. He's not in the military. But other than that it’s just a normal life for spouses. They make the same sort of reunion videos as all the other military spouses. My neighbor is a guy who was selling Lulu roe while NG. My own wife refuses to have anything to do with FRG or making welcome home banners or the little spouse ladies night things. I was active duty for about 9 years, FWIW. Doesn't the Army's EO policy apply to spouses? Overall it's nothing to be concerned about. Military spouses - you have an issue? From what I can tell it’s kinda rough. Although male military spouses may have different needs or interests, they aren’t asking for everything to cater to them. A Navy spouse, male military spouse advocate, and volunteer at his wife's duty station in Okinawa, Japan. He was named the 2014 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year. I think that as a spouse of someone in the military you are sometimes forced to make sacrifices that you normally wouldn’t need to make outside of a military life. Males married to service members make up only 5% of the military spouse population, but numbering close to 100,000, the group is large enough to have specific and significant needs. There are a lot of unique aspects of being a military spouse. It’s called the Veteran Pen Pal Project, and it can be found on the website Christina Etchberger calls itsamilitarylife.com. The spouse Facebook pages sometimes specifically exclude men, even if they’re spouses. Brooke Jones-Chinetti . I'd totally file a complaint just to stir shit. The military spouse culture seems, from my outside view, to be a lot more focused on the stay-at-home ones than the working ones, and those are overwhelmingly female. According to Military One … She immediately banged like 3-5 cadets, and that's only what she told me (we briefly "tried again" but it didnt work out). I'm a male military spouse, and honestly life isn't that different than if my wife had a civilian job. I quickly realized that being a military spouse meant more than just being a supportive partner. Rated "R" when broadcast, downgraded if we play nice. I don't know my branch or first posting yet. It's 2021 don't show your Biases. As a male military spouse, you face some of the following situations: Other people assume you’re the service member. Honestly, most Military women I knew who were married were either: B: Married to guys who were prior service. 3 talking about this. More posts from the AskAnAmerican community. share. Few studies explore the experiences of male military spouses, which can impact family readiness within the military. Military spouse under- and unemployment is clearly an important problem, but framing it as a monolithic problem may be part of the issue. The only part I really don't like is having to move every three years, but that is just because I hate moving. I'm excited to have received the component that I want, but I'm also a little daunted by the challenges of military life, especially with regards to my boyfriend. Officer Spouse, Military spouse, Army spouse…you get the point. hide. Military Spouse and Family Moves 101 Whether you're an old pro or new to the military moving game, there's stuff to learn about PCSing. “The one thing male military spouses lack is a way to connect. Male military spouses. We have been very fortunate to live in 2 really cool places so far. More importantly, you learn to be really self-sufficient. People will make casual jokes about being emasculated. Also, do they have a particular image among the general public? It's not extremely common but I've worked with 2 other guys whose wives served but they did not. It is my honor to introduce to you James Luter, one phenomenal male military spouse who is also a Navy Veteran. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. They're in Japan right now and only about 3 years before his wife can retire. Most don't fit into it, but you do see more than a few who liked to wear their husbands rank. . save. Have a Conference or a Spouses Conference rather than a woman’s or Army Wife conference Invite male spouses to sit on your planning committee/board and be open to changing things up and doing things differently. Subscribe for more r/askreddit content. I Was A Real Man’s Man! Male military spouses . Apparently he has to constantly tell people he has no military service, and sometimes people react awkwardly or sexistly. Archived. I am the very rare and hardly noticed male military spouse.